Early Spring Blooms Third Week of March

Early Spring Blooms Third Week of March
L. Warren, 2012

About Lisa's Collection


Lisa's Collection
is a spare-time endeavor that's aimed at organizing my other spare-time endeavors.

I do quite a bit of online writing, and after building up a collection of material for quite awhile, I realized it was time to organize it a little better than I’d being doing.

So, I decided to start Lisa's Collection. Because I write on a variety of subjects, however, I realized that my
writing really wouldn’t be sufficiently organized through the use of one blog. For that reason, I decided to make this site a “Hub” site, from which material on individual subjects can be found at the links provided. This site is my “miscellaneous department”, because most efforts to organize a wide variety of things require a “miscellaneous department” for whatever it is one is attempting to organize.

My original plan for this site was to let it be a foundation for later, more blog-like, activity; and in the meantime, post writing and whatever I thought might add a little something. When it comes to spare time, however, one can’t always count on having enough of it.

As a result, in spite of how long this blog has been in existence, it still remains fairly embryonic. It is, as they say, what it is.

(With the exception of "Life on Key", blog links may be temporarily disabled.)

Jan 25, 2012

The Following Is A List of Things I Think I've Learned from Life

1. Whether it's a bottle of shampoo, a jar of peanut-butter, or a stick of deodorant - Never throw away anything that's just about gone before you have the new one in hand, and at home. Trust me, if you do throw an almost-empty container away, one day you'll regret that you did. If you make sure you don't, one day you'll be glad you didn't.

2. Make it a habit to know you have your keys in pocket ANY time you leave your house, even for the mail. Again, one day you'll be glad you did. If you don't, you'll one day wish you had.

3. Don't point out to other people what's wrong with you. Sometimes they won't notice until you do. At other times they'll think you're only looking for compliments. Then again, there will be many times when they let you know they think you're underestimating your own flaws, leaving you to feel worse than ever.

4. "Accidents waiting to happen" doesn't mean something that only looks like an accident will result. An "accident waiting to happen" means an accident that will happen. It may not be today, and it may not be tomorrow or the week after next. The accident will happen, however - because it was waiting to happen. So take care of accidents waiting to happen immediately, because it's a rare accident that involves a happy outcome.

5. Don't clean your toilet bowl with glasses on, and if you must then make sure your face isn't over the bowl and that they aren't at all loose. (Need I say more?)

6. Along those lines, if you must flush a toilet that doesn't have a lid keep your mouth good and closed; and on a somewhat related note, never open a pull-top can of cat food without pursing your lips tightly either.

7. Don't say, "My parents did __________, and I'm OK." There's a good chance you're not as OK as you and your parents think you are. It's just that neither your parents nor you know any better.

8. Never leave your cell phone in your pocket when you use a public restroom (or private one, for that matter). If you absolutely must leave the phone in your pocket, make sure you store all your contacts on a back-up cell phone.

9. Just because your dainty little hand fits inside a wine glass that doesn't mean you should use it (even with a paper towel in it) to wash the inside of the glass. Let's just say some knuckles are apparently on the sharper side.

10. Snack foods in bags: There really is a good chance you "can't eat just one". Never buy these. (Also, never buy caramel rice cakes or Lindt truffles.)

11. Always look in the back seat of your car before getting in.

12. Also, always look inside your drip coffee maker if you live in a cold climate, it's May, and the space under your kitchen door is big enough to let (oh, let's say) about 30 ants in for breakfast.

13. Speaking of coffee (and any other beverage), always use a covered mug or cup in Summer, especially if you turn your lights off late at night and work by the light of the monitor. Little, tiny, flying bugs that like monitor lights also appear to like whatever human beings drink while they type. (If you can't follow this rule then at least keep a mini-flashlight on hand for checking between sips.) (Actually, the occasional, bigger, bug may find its way into your cup - but let's not think about THAT.)

14. Before throwing your laundry into the machine, if you think you really should check all pockets for tissues; follow your instinct. You might think shredded up tissue bits aren't much different from dryer lint, but they are.

15. Never sit with a baby over six months old on your lap, with the little cutie facing away from you. Sudden jumps back, baby heads, and noses have a tendency to combine in a most unpleasant and painful way.

16. Speaking of babies, always carry babies through doorways upright. It's really easy to underestimate the length between a horizontal baby's toes and head while overestimating the width of the doorway. (Note: If an unfortunate incident occurs, chances are the baby will be OK. They usually are.)

17. In stop-and-go traffic, never stop on railroad tracks just because there's no sign of a train coming. Make sure the car ahead of you has left enough room for you to clear the tracks before you move forward.

18. Never click, "Don't ask me this again", when it comes to whether or not you want Itunes to ask if you REALLY want to delete that playlist.

19. Never carry a bottle of water in the same purse you keep your expensive camera in.

20. Have one place where you ALWAYS keep your keys, wallet, and cell phone (and boring and unadventurous as this may be, NEVER deviate.)

21. Never believe that you can explain your side better in an e.mail if you avoid the difficulties of trying to get the words out in person. Trust me - if the words were going to be a problem getting out in person, the tone of your voice isn't coming through via e.mail (even with the best emoticons).

22. If you have a cat, "running out" of paper towels isn't when the last roll is almost gone. It's when the back-up roll is opened.

23. If you're six years old, never put a dime in your mouth while you climb over a reasonably tall chain-link fence.

24. Don't think your boss will respect you more if you're honest about sleeping late. Some interpret such honesty as "not respecting him/her enough to think up a lie".

25. AAA will only come for the same problem a couple of times before they tell you to get it fixed because they're not going to come out again.

26. Don't panic if you're mixing up a brownie mix, add as much oil as you should be adding water, and vice verse. They come out OK (for the most part). They just take a lot longer to cook.

27. If there's something telling you you shouldn't do one thing or another, listen to that something 100% of the time - not 98% of the time. A lot of disasters can happen when you give them that 2% window of opportunity.

28. Blinds on a window can't be trusted as much as shades can.

29. Never leave electronic products within any area that could be covered by liquid if whatever is holding that liquid should tip. By the way, add several inches to your estimate of the diameter of that area.

30. If you must keep water, coffee, or tea near your keyboard, so be it. NEVER leave a glass of orange juice near it.

31. Mothers never know their kids as well as think they do, no matter how well they really do know them.

32. Kids never know their mothers as well as they think do, even though kids think they know more than mothers.

33. If you have to ask, "Should I take my umbrella?" take it. You can fend off a rainstorm that way much of the time, but if you don't you'll at least have an umbrella with you.

34. If it's "one size fits all" don't wear it. Nothing that comes in "one size fits all" is very attractive.

35. Never slam a drawer or door shut without making sure your fingers are tucked safely into your palms.

36. Don't think that just because ants show up in May a big, glass, peanut jar is a great place to store sugar; but if you do, don't wear sandals and make sure your hands are dry at all times.

37. When you're out in public push doors open with your forearms (surgeon style), use your wrists on handrails (especially the ones in the subway), and keep as big a space bubble around you as possible.

38. Always keep your shopping cart as far to one side of an aisle as possible. This prevents a whole store's worth of customers from thinking you're a giant idiot and telling their friends and relatives about you once they're out of the store.

39. (Toilets again): If the present roll of tissue is almost gone you're better off removing it and replacing it with the new one, rather than leaving the new one at risk of being knocked on the floor (that is if you're not a big fan of using tissue that's rolled all over a bathroom floor).

40. Staples can hold up a hem far longer than you would think.

41 Never completely trust anyone else's directional signals in traffic. They're sometimes only an estimate.

42. Don't walk into someone's home and immediately announce how you are by saying, "Oh - I am sooo sick!"

43. Don't ask people who invited you to their wedding if it's OK if you bring your kid. Most of the time it isn't, they won't want to say it is, and your kid will end up being resented for being there.

44. Rubbery soles on shoes are more dangerous, not less, on carpets and blacktop.

45. On the matter of shoes with rubbery soles: Just because you feel light and airy and in the mood to run across a busy street, that doesn't mean you should. Let's put it another way: If you think cars are going to stop just because your legs are stretched out into the street, think again.

46. The magnifying glass in the eyeglass repair kit will not do you any good when you need one hand for the little, tiny, screwdriver and the other hand to keep the little, tiny, screw in place.

47. Just because you have a cover on your soda it doesn't mean the birds can't aim for the opening of the straw.

48. Don't think just because the tube of hand cream says, "for extra dry and cracked hands" the clowns who thought up ingredients didn't put alcohol in it. Also, keep in mind that when the label says, "cooling" it means the cooling only happens after your hands feel like they're on fire for a couple of hours (because someone put ALCOHOL in this stuff).

49. You don't REALLY have to Spring Ahead and Fall Back at 2:00 a.m. You just have to do a little more math if you don't.

50. No, the fruit flies don't have some mechanism by which they can find your bunch of bananas from outside your house. The eggs are on the stems when you bring the bananas home, and it's only a matter of time before they hatch. Fortunately, bananas usually turn brown before the eggs hatch.

51. Don't leave dishes in the sink without rinsing the food off first. The whole task of washing them will be far more pleasant if you do.

52. The train you choose not to run to catch may well turn out to be one on which there was a stabbing.

53. Yes, maybe that IS too much ask (whatever it is you're asking this about).

54. Too much stuff always looks better if it's in neat piles and at right angles.

55. Whether or not you should wear your sweater or sweatshirt depends on whether you'll be more miserable cold or more miserable hot. Let your potential misery be your guide, but don't expect to be comfortable either way.

56. Don't buy that crap about lightning never striking twice.

57. Maybe it is always darkest before the dawn, but dawn doesn't offer any particular guarantees about how sunny and bright any one day will turn out to be.

58. Don't buy donuts from any place that lets flies get on them (and a surprisingly high number of donut places seem to be OK with flies getting on the donuts). Also, don't bother writing to a famous donut chain to complain about their local store letting flies get on the donuts. All they'll do is send you a coupon for yet more "fly-donuts".

59. You can't judge a book by its cover, but if someone looks creepy there's a really good chance they ARE creepy.

60. Bacteria or no bacteria, somehow it just seems better to keep your toothbrush covered.

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Not long ago I was reading advice about naming blogs. The individual, who clearly knows what he's doing when it comes to blogs, mentioned that people shouldn't give their blogs an "ego title" (which includes the person's name, rather than a less personal, more-to-point-about-the-theme, title). Of course, this advice was directed at anyone who hopes to earn money with his blog.

I cringed a little, though, because some of my blogs have "ego" titles. The thing is, though, it was not my ego at the root of my choice for some of the "Lisa" blogs I have.

When I started putting together blogs as way of finding a home for a lot of the writing I'd already done (with the plans of further developing them later), I wasn't particularly thinking of earning money from them. I was thinking of finding some way to organize my writing in what I hoped was an attractive "environment" that gave me the freedom to later add whatever I wanted to add.

Names like, "No Senior Coffee" and "Storm Clouds and Wind Chimes" just kind of came naturally. Then, though, I had some writing that only loosely fit into "categories", and I realized I had to come up with some cohesive name for each of those "categories". I was thinking almost in terms of names for file folders when I created the names, although, because blogs have a public nature, I thought I'd try to add something "catchy" to titles that were essentially "file folder titles".

So, along with the titles mentioned above, and along with "Dabblings in Verse", I have a whole lot of "Lisa" titles - "Lisa's Collection", "Lisa Light", "Lisa's Christmas Card", and on and on and on. I knew when I created the titles they wouldn't particularly be searched for by the public. My aim, though, wasn't really to have people search for them (in view of the fact that I wasn't try to make money with them). The plan was to direct readers to the blogs from other writing sites where my name is associated with my writing. In other words, all I wanted to do was categorize and make available my writing. I wasn't looking to become a famous Internet "presence" with it.

When I saw someone refer to personal-name titles as "ego titles" I did cringe because it occurred to me that anyone who sees some of my blogs may assume it was ego at the root of some of the titles. It wasn't, and I don't want anyone thinking it was. The "Lisa line" of titles is only a matter of "file-folder" thinking, as well as my disregard for whether or not anyone finds the sites without being directed to them by me.

I know that addressing this can come across as "defensive" of me, and that nobody really cares how or why I came up with any particular title. It isn't intended to. It's just that I'm "so-at-the- opposite-end-of-egotistical" it does kind of bother me to think that anyone - even a stranger - would believe it was ego at the root of some of the titles.

There's More to Organizing Than Just Organizing

When I first started writing on "what-you-want-to-write" sites it was a matter of "anything goes" as far as most writing sites were concerned. At the time, I hadn't been able to find full-time work because of the economy, where I live (which is "The Sticks"), family responsibilities, and my not having had a full-time job for quite awhile. I had no choice but take whatever projects anyone (who knew someone who knew someone else) would give me. I wasn't just working hard, but working hard to find yet more work. I was sick-to-death of writing stuff about things in which I had zero interest (and pretending to be interested). (Shh. Don't tell any of those people for whom I've done work that I really haven't had genuine interest in the stuff I've written for them.)

Don't get me wrong. I enjoy writing, and I even enjoy writing for other people. It's just that, as most writers will tell you, after awhile it isn't enough. So, it was a few years ago now that I began writing on writing sites. I enjoy writing on a few sites, and what I post on any of them depends on the kind of site it is.

The trouble is (without going into any specific details), ever since I've been enjoying writing online in my spare time (and picking up a fairly decent extra income at the same time), I've always kind of felt a little "off key" because, as much as I enjoy writing on writing sites; I haven't been writing the kind of material that's really what I want to write. People who spend much time on writing sites usually know that there's often debate (arguments) between those who write for money and those who write for love, or for art. My feeling off key has nothing to do with that particular (and ever famous) debate, because in a lot of ways I fit in with both sides of that particular writing coin. It more has to do with my own setting limitations on the kind of material I'll write on any site.

For example, I won't post anything I really care about on the Internet because I know too well how often some kinds of articles are stolen. I'm used to it. I do what I can about it. Still, I'm not about to post some pieces of writing in what amounts to an "up-for-grabs" venue. Then, too, there are things I'm just not going to write about. For the most part, I don't want write about objects. My wish to keep some personal business private means I'm not going to put on the Internet some things that I'd really like to write. The list of what I don't want to write goes on and on. So does the list of what I won't put on the Internet. As a result, I've found some kind of safe, middle-ground, of writing; and then I've adjusted whatever falls under the category to be as close to acceptable as it has to be on any given writing site. That's fine. I enjoy writing online, and I'll probably continue to use online writing as one of my spare-time endeavors. Still, the fact is, for several years now I've been trying to figure out what it is that has made me always feel kind of off-key when it comes to a lot of my online writing.

So often, when people are talking about how writers want readers for their work. I've always wondered if there's something wrong with me, because I plain, old, don't care if my work is ever read. Oddly, however, when I write I do write with the reader in mind; and all through the writing process, I'm imagining how a reader may react to the words I so carefully try to make click into place.

Also, there have been times when writing discussions have been about how writers want to keep getting feedback on their work, often in order to continue to edit and improve it. My thing has always been that I see each piece of writing almost as a kind of child of mine: I do my best to get it to maturity; and I send it out into the world, where it will inevitably sink or swim. Thinking of this brings to my mind the last scene in the animated version of E.B. White's Charlotte's Web, in which all Charlotte's spider eggs have turned into baby spiders that scurry away from the web she wove. (I know that making reference to "sink or swim" and spider eggs is mixing metaphors. Sorry. Sometimes I break some rules.)

In any case, over several years I've sent a very large number of "spider babies" out into the world; but as the real-life mother of grown sons and a daughter, I've learned that we remain parents no matter how old our babies are, whether or not they remain in the nest, or how far they roam from it. I don't know... As I've been trying to figure out what it is, exactly, that has been making me feel quite so off-key, it has occurred to me that no matter who, or what, we see as our "children", no mother just tosses them out into the world when they still need her and says, "Sink or swim, babies!" So why is it I've been so cavalier about tossing my own creations out into the Internet world and pretty much not been interested in ever seeing them again? I guess it's because, while they're mine, a whole lot of them are certainly not "Me" (at least not in terms of "Me, as a professional writer").

On the one hand, my spare-time "creations" are, most definitely, very much "Me, the person". The trouble is that "Me, the writer" judges my own (often more casual) writing through the eyes of someone who tends to think that only the most "professionally written" pieces of writing have a right to exist. The trouble is also, however, that "Me, the person" has a lot of things to say (for one reason or another. Not only that, but "Me, the person" just plain enjoys writing what "she" feels like writing. Sometimes the old "being of two minds" is easier than other times. Well, maybe it isn't so much "being of two minds" that's a challenge. Maybe the problem is more related to having one activity (writing) in which both of those minds are involved.

Sometimes, when I meet one of my better pieces of writing "on the street" I think, "Hey. This isn't so bad. Maybe I should like it more than I do." Sometimes, too, when I go out looking for any pieces of writing that I've never really liked, I'll realize that it never stood a chance because I didn't give it the time or chance that I gave some of its siblings. And so, I suppose, one reason I've for so long felt off-key is that I know I've sent so many of my creations out into the world without caring what happened to them. Oh, I have my writing and my projects that I very much care about. It's just that the stuff I put online is not that. The funny thing is, though, that we can think we don't care about our creations much until one day, we look out into "the streets" and realize that we are looking at something that is far more a part of us than we'd realized. I suppose, too, one problem has been that while I'll never really feel very much a part of the Internet "streets", I've been aiming to make my creations street-savvy because I've known I have no intention of becoming a part of their world.

I have my plans for how I'll approach any spare-time writing I do from here on out. In the meantime, though, I've decided to build a home for all my wayward creations, call them home, and do for them what I should have done in the first place.

Those of us who have been on writing sites recently know that these days duplicate content is being frowned on more and more. By setting up a home for my wayward creations I'll be turning them into duplicate content (if they haven't already been). I can't worry about who, out there in "Internet-Land" likes it, though; because my creations have, for too long, been fending for themselves. They need to come home now. They need me to start caring about them.

For now, their home will be on the blog, "Life On Key". I'm going to move them later.
When you start posting animated cats on the blog that's supposed to be for organizing your spare-time writing, it's kind of obvious you've been putting in a little too much work into what was supposed to be a spare-time thing.